內心有很多個「我」，哪一個才是真的？ 向下閱讀中文

A mindfulness guide to understanding your inner parts and finding peace with all of them.

If you've ever sat down to meditate and found yourself completely unable to settle, it might not be because something is wrong with your practice. It might be because two very different parts of you are trying to be heard at the same time — and neither one is willing to wait.

I've noticed how many different sides of ourselves we carry through life. And how those sides shift and change depending on the season we are in.

Lately, there is a part of me that wants to create, build things, explore possibilities, and see what I'm capable of. And then there is another part that looks at my life and thinks: this is already pretty wonderful. Can we just relax and enjoy it?

One part wants to move forward. Another wants more space. One part loves taking care of people. Another occasionally wants everyone to leave her alone for three days. 😂

Sometimes it feels like two horses pulling in completely different directions.

Am I ambitious, or am I content?

Do I want more, or am I grateful for what I already have?

Do I want connection, or do I need space?

Which one is actually me?

Have you ever felt that way?

When the Parts Start Fighting

I see this in so many of the people I work with.

There is a part that wants to accomplish something and another part that is exhausted. A part that wants to care for everyone and another part that quietly wants to be cared for. A part that is genuinely grateful for the life we have and another part that still wants something more.

The difficulty isn't that these different parts exist.

It's what we do with them.

We start deciding which ones are acceptable.

I should be more content. I shouldn't want so much. I should be more motivated. I should be able to let this go.

And before we know it, we're not only dealing with different needs and desires. We're also judging ourselves for having them.

That creates a lot of unnecessary suffering.

I think of a student I worked with not long ago — a woman who described herself as someone who always shows up for others, always has energy for the people she loves, and yet goes home at the end of the day feeling strangely empty. One part of her thrived on connection and giving. Another part was quietly starving for the same care she so freely offered everyone else.

She wasn't broken. She was simply carrying two real and valid needs — and she had only ever made room for one of them.

What If We Got Curious Instead?

Making room inside doesn't mean making one part of ourselves disappear. It means creating enough space to actually hear what each part is trying to tell us.

The part of me that wants to create isn't necessarily saying: what I have isn't enough. Maybe she simply loves creating. She has ideas. She wants to see what's possible.

The part that wants to slow down isn't lazy or afraid. Maybe she knows how much I value having room to enjoy my life.

The part that wants connection doesn't mean I can't be independent. And the part that wants space doesn't mean I love people any less.

When I stop making these parts compete with each other, I can become curious instead.

What are you trying to protect?

What are you hoping to give me?

Those questions feel so different from: which one of you should I get rid of?

This Is Where Mindfulness Gets Interesting

We begin mindfulness practice by noticing our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and reactions. Over time, we also begin to see that we don't have to be completely consumed by any one of them.

A part of me can want something without that desire running my whole life. A part of me can be tired without deciding I should give up. A part of me can want more while another part deeply appreciates what is already here.

Both can be true.

I can have dreams and enjoy today. I can want to create more and still stop for a chai latte. I can care deeply for others and still need time for myself. I can be strong and capable and still want to be held sometimes.

There is enough room for all of it.

A Simple Practice to Try

Maybe being whole isn't about finally becoming one perfectly consistent version of ourselves.

Maybe it's about having enough space inside that we no longer need to reject the parts that don't fit the person we thought we were supposed to be.

Here is something simple I've been sitting with.

When I notice two parts of myself pulling in different directions, I try not to immediately decide which one is right. I listen to one. Then I listen to the other.

What are you trying to protect? What are you hoping to give me?

I don't always need an answer right away. Sometimes simply allowing both sides to have a seat at the table creates enough space for something new to emerge.

And from that space, I can choose.

I used to think knowing myself meant figuring out which version of me was the real one.

I'm seeing it differently now.

My practice isn't choosing between all these parts of myself. It's learning to create enough space to hear them, understand what they need, and then decide how I want to live.

I don't need one part to win.

I don't need another part to disappear.

They can all belong.

And somehow, that feels much more like freedom.

A Gentle Reflection

Which part of you has been especially loud lately?

And is there another part that hasn't had much room to speak?

Instead of deciding which one is right, perhaps take a quiet moment to listen to both. You might be surprised by what they're actually trying to tell you.

Every week I write a letter to my community — sometimes a story, sometimes a teaching, always something from real life. If you'd like to receive it, the door is open. https://www.zitamae.com/#contact

If you'd like to be in a place that supports all parts of you, I'd love to welcome you to one of my weekly classes.

🌿 Saturday 8am PT — Finding Ease with Stress & Anxiety

🌿 Monday 9am PT — Self Acceptance Practice

🌿 Tuesday 6pm PT — Mindful Living

Caroline Chang is the founder of Zitamae LLC, a mindfulness and somatic healing teacher. She offers weekly live classes and courses for adults healing from stress, anxiety, self-judgment, and the exhaustion of holding too much for too long.

為什麼我總覺得自己被撕裂？正念如何幫助我們面對內心的衝突

如果你曾經坐下來靜心，卻發現自己完全無法安定，也許不是因為你的練習有什麼問題。也許是因為你內心有兩個截然不同的部分，同時都想被聽見，而且誰都不想等。

我最近一直在觀察，我們在生命中帶著多少不同的自己。而那些不同的面向，會隨著我們所處的人生季節而改變。

最近，我心裡有一部分想要創造、想要建立什麼、想要探索各種可能性，看看自己能做到什麼。但同時，還有另一部分看著現在的生活，心想：這已經很美好了。我們可不可以就這樣放鬆、好好享受？

一部分想往前走。另一部分想要更多空間。一部分很喜歡照顧別人。另一部分偶爾希望所有人都消失三天。😂

有時候感覺像兩匹馬，拼命往不同方向拉。

我到底是有企圖心的人，還是容易知足的人？

我還想要更多，還是我已經對擁有的一切很感恩？

我需要連結，還是我需要獨處？

哪一個，才是真正的我？

你有沒有也這樣感覺過？

當這些部分開始互相拉扯

我在很多一起工作的人身上看見這樣的狀態。

有一部分想要完成某件事，另一部分卻已經精疲力竭。有一部分想要照顧所有人，另一部分其實很渴望被照顧。有一部分真心感謝現在擁有的生活，另一部分卻還是覺得少了什麼。

問題不在於這些不同的部分存在。

而是我們怎麼對待它們。

我們開始決定，哪些部分是可以被接受的。

我應該更知足。我不應該想要那麼多。我應該更有動力。我應該能夠放下這件事。

然後在不知不覺中，我們不只要面對不同的需求和渴望，還要一邊審判自己怎麼會有這些感受。

這樣會製造出很多不必要的痛苦。

我想到一位曾經一起工作的學員，她形容自己是那種永遠為別人出現的人，永遠有能量陪伴她愛的人，但每天回到家，卻有一種說不清楚的空洞感。她的一部分在給予和連結中感到充實，但另一部分，卻悄悄地渴望著那份她慷慨給予別人的照顧。

她沒有哪裡不對。她只是同時帶著兩個真實、有意義的需求，而她一直只為其中一個騰出了空間。

如果我們換一種方式，帶著好奇呢？

在心裡騰出空間，不是要讓某一部分的自己消失。而是創造足夠的空間，真正去聽聽每一個部分想告訴我們什麼。

那個想要創造的部分，並不一定是在說：我現在擁有的還不夠。也許她只是真的喜歡創造。她有想法。她想看看什麼是可能的。

那個想放慢腳步的部分，不是懶惰，也不是害怕。也許她知道，我有多重視生活中有空間去享受的感覺。

那個想要連結的部分，不代表我不能獨立。那個需要空間的部分，也不代表我比較不愛身邊的人。

當我不再讓這些部分互相競爭，我就能換成帶著好奇去靠近它們。

你在保護什麼？

你希望給我什麼？

這樣的問題，和「你們哪一個應該消失？」感覺完全不同。

正念在這裡變得特別有意思

我們從觀察自己的想法、感受、身體感覺和反應開始練習。慢慢地，我們也開始看見，我們不需要被其中任何一個完全淹沒。

我心裡有一部分可以渴望某件事，但那個渴望不需要主導我的整個生命。我有一部分可以很累，但不需要因此決定放棄。我可以有一部分想要更多，同時另一部分也真心珍惜現在已經有的一切。

兩件事可以同時是真的。

我可以有夢想，同時享受今天。我可以想要繼續創造，同時也停下來喝一杯奶茶。我可以深深在乎別人，同時也需要屬於自己的時間。我可以堅強、有能力，同時有時候也想被好好照顧。

這一切都有足夠的空間。

一個簡單的練習

也許，完整的自己，不是終於成為一個前後完全一致的版本。

也許，是心裡有足夠的空間，讓我們不再需要排斥那些不符合「我以為自己應該是的樣子」的部分。

這是我最近一直在做的一個簡單練習。

當我發現自己有兩個部分往不同方向拉的時候，我試著不要馬上決定哪一個才是對的。我先聽其中一個。再聽另一個。

你在保護什麼？你希望給我什麼？

我不一定需要馬上得到答案。有時候，只是讓兩個部分都有位置坐下來，就已經能創造出足夠的空間，讓新的東西慢慢浮現。

然後從那個空間裡，我可以做選擇。

我以前以為，認識自己，就是要搞清楚哪一個版本的我才是真的。

現在我看法不同了。

我的練習不是在這些部分之間做選擇。而是學習創造足夠的空間去聆聽它們，理解它們需要什麼，然後決定我想怎麼生活。

我不需要某一部分贏。

也不需要另一部分消失。

它們都可以在這裡。

而那，感覺更像是真正的自由。

一個溫柔的邀請

最近，你心裡哪一個部分特別大聲？

有沒有另一個部分，一直沒有太多說話的空間？

不急著決定哪一個才是對的。也許可以靜下來，讓兩個部分都說說話。你可能會驚訝地發現，它們其實想告訴你的，和你以為的不一樣。

Caroline Chang 是 Zitamae LLC 的創辦人，正念與身心療癒老師。她為長期承受壓力、焦慮、自我批判，以及那些撐著太多、撐太久的成人，提供每週線上課程與深度課程。