靜定是什麼？一位正念老師的真實回答

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The Question That Stayed With Me

I just got back from a trip yesterday, and I cannot believe I slept for twelve hours straight.

Here I am, writing to you on a Saturday night — a little jet-lagged, moving a little slower than usual, and honestly… perfectly at peace with that.

Maybe that's the most fitting way to arrive at this week's topic.

Stillness.

A student asked me in class recently: "What is stillness, exactly?"

What a great question.

And I wonder — if you pause for just a second — what would your answer be?

The Misunderstanding That Trips Most of Us Up

Many of us come to mindfulness looking for stillness.

Then we sit down and feel all the sensations in our body. We notice emotions moving through us. We hear our thoughts going in every direction.

And something in us wonders:

Did I lose it? Am I doing this wrong? Is stillness even possible when there is so much happening inside me?

Here is what I'd like to offer.

Stillness is not the absence of waves. It is the quality of what lives beneath them.

The Lake

Imagine a lake.

On the surface, there is movement. Wind creates ripples. Storms create waves. Leaves fall and disturb the water. The surface is alive and constantly changing.

But if you go deeper, the water is much less disturbed. The waves don't reach all the way down.

I think this is a helpful way to understand stillness in practice.

We still feel sensations. We still have emotions. Thoughts still arise and pass. We are not trying to become someone who doesn't feel or react to anything.

Instead, we begin to discover that we can experience all of this movement without being completely swept away by it.

We are not trying to flatten the waves.

We are learning to recognize the depth beneath them.

The Wheel of Awareness

Psychiatrist Dan Siegel uses an image called the Wheel of Awareness that I find helpful here.

Imagine a wheel. The rim represents everything we experience — sensations, thoughts, emotions, memories, everything that comes and goes. The hub is the center from which we are aware of those experiences.

We are both.

We have the experience, and we can know that we are having the experience.

Mindfulness helps us remember that second part, especially when the first part gets very loud.

What the Buddha's Stillness Actually Looked Like

This also changes how I think about the Buddha and stillness.

His life wasn't removed from ordinary human difficulty. He traveled, taught, dealt with disagreements, physical discomfort, loss, and all kinds of people and situations.

So his stillness couldn't have meant that nothing difficult was happening.

There is an image in Buddhist teachings of a flame in a windless place.

I think of it as a mind that has become steady — not because life has stopped moving, but because it is no longer pulled in every direction by whatever arises.

And we can experience small moments of this ourselves.

Sometimes I notice it while washing dishes, sitting with a cup of tea, or simply pausing in the middle of a busy day. My thoughts haven't stopped. Whatever I was dealing with may still be there.

But I can notice it without immediately following it, fixing it, or pushing it away.

There is a little more space between what is happening and how I respond.

To me, that's a taste of stillness.

The Most Encouraging Part

Here is what I find most encouraging:

I don't think we have to manufacture stillness.

It isn't a reward we receive after meditating long enough or becoming calm enough.

Think about the lake again. When there is a storm, the surface can become so rough that we might forget there is anything underneath it. But the depth hasn't disappeared just because we can't feel it.

Maybe we are like that too.

On our busiest days, our hardest days, the days when our minds feel completely unsettled — we may not be able to access much stillness.

But that doesn't mean we have lost it.

Stillness isn't something we create.

It's something we learn to recognize and return to.

A Gentle Practice to Try

The next time you notice a strong emotion, a busy mind, or tension in your body — see if you can resist the urge to immediately make it go away.

Instead, notice:

This is here.

And then perhaps ask:

Can I also notice the awareness that knows this is here?

You don't need to find some perfectly peaceful place.

Just see if, underneath all the movement, you can sense a little more space.

Even for one breath.

That is enough.

A Gentle Reflection

Where in your life do you most often forget that stillness is still there beneath the surface?

And what might it feel like to remember — even for just one quiet moment — that the depth has never disappeared?

If this resonated with you, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need to hear it today. 🌿

And if you'd like to practice together, you're warmly invited to join our weekly classes: 👉 zitamae.com/offerings

May we each find, beneath the waves, the stillness that was never disturbed.

With warmth, Caroline 🌿

Peace and always love

靜定是什麼？一位正念老師的真實回答

一個讓我一直思考的問題

我昨天剛回來，真不敢相信我一口氣睡了十二個小時。

我在這裡，週六晚上，有點時差，動作比平常慢一點。

但說真的……我對這一切完全平靜。

也許，這就是談論這週主題最合適的方式。

最近在課堂上，一位學生問我：「靜定到底是什麼？」

多好的問題。

我在想——如果你現在停下來一秒鐘——你的答案會是什麼？

我們大多數人的誤解

很多人開始練習正念，是為了尋找靜定。

坐下來之後，卻感受到身體裡各種各樣的感覺。情緒在流動。念頭往各個方向跑。

然後心裡有個聲音開始懷疑：

我失去它了嗎？
我做錯了嗎？
內心這麼多事情在發生，靜定還有可能嗎？

我想分享一個看法。

靜定，不是讓所有的波浪都停下來。

它是波浪底下，那份一直都在的深度。

湖

想像一個湖。

湖面上有動靜。風吹起漣漪。風暴掀起波浪。落葉擾動水面。湖面是活的，不斷在變化。

但如果你往深處走，水就平靜得多了。波浪到不了那裡。

我覺得這是理解靜定很好的方式。

我們還是會感受到感覺。還是會有情緒。念頭還是會生起又消逝。我們不是要成為一個什麼都感覺不到、什麼都不反應的人。

而是，我們開始發現，我們可以經歷所有這些動靜，卻不完全被它們捲走。

我們不是要把波浪壓平。

我們是在學習認出波浪之下的深度。

覺知之輪

精神科醫師丹·席格（Dan Siegel）用一個叫做「覺知之輪」的圖像，我覺得很有幫助。

想像一個輪子。輪緣代表我們所有的體驗——感覺、念頭、情緒、記憶，所有來了又去的東西。輪轂是我們覺知那些體驗的中心。

我們兩個都是。

我們有那個體驗，同時我們也可以知道自己正在有那個體驗。

正念幫助我們記起第二個部分，特別是當第一個部分變得非常吵雜的時候。

佛陀的靜定，其實是什麼樣子的

這也改變了我對佛陀和靜定的理解。

他的生命並沒有遠離普通人的困難。他旅行、教導、面對意見不合、身體的不舒服、失去，以及各種各樣的人和情況。

所以他的靜定，不可能是指什麼困難的事都沒有發生。

佛法裡有一個無風之地燭火的意象。

我把它理解為一個變得穩定的心—不是因為生命停止了流動，而是因為它不再被每一個生起的東西拉往各個方向。

我們自己也可以體驗到這樣的小時刻。

有時候我在洗碗的時候注意到它，坐著喝一杯茶的時候，或者只是在忙碌的一天中間停下來的時候。我的念頭沒有停止。我在處理的事情也許還在那裡。

但我可以注意到它，而不是立刻去追它、修它、或者把它推開。

在發生的事情和我的回應之間，有了多一點的空間。

對我來說，那就是靜定的味道。

最讓我感到鼓舞的部分

這是我覺得最鼓舞人心的：

我不認為我們需要製造靜定。

它不是我們打坐夠久或者變得夠平靜之後才能得到的獎勵。

再想想那個湖。當有風暴的時候，湖面可能變得很粗糙，讓我們忘記底下還有什麼。但那個深度並沒有因為我們感覺不到它就消失了。

也許我們也是這樣。

在我們最忙碌的日子，最艱難的日子，心感覺完全不安穩的日子——我們也許沒辦法接觸到太多靜定。

但那不代表我們失去它了。

靜定不是我們創造的東西。

它是我們學著去認出、然後回到的東西。

一個溫柔的練習

下次當你注意到一個強烈的情緒、忙碌的心、或者身體裡的緊繃——試試看能不能忍住立刻讓它消失的衝動。

取而代之，注意：

這在這裡。

然後也許問問自己：

我能不能也注意到，那個知道這在這裡的覺知？

你不需要找到什麼完美平靜的地方。

只是看看，在所有的動靜之下，你能不能感受到多一點的空間。

哪怕只是一個呼吸。

那就夠了。

一個溫柔的提問

在你生命的哪個地方，你最常忘記靜定還在表面之下？

如果你想起來——哪怕只是一個安靜的時刻——那個深度從未消失，會是什麼感覺？

如果這篇文章觸動了你，歡迎把它分享給身邊可能需要聽到這些話的人。🌿

如果你想一起練習，我在這裡等你： 👉 zitamae.com/offerings

願我們都能在波浪之下， 找到那片從未被打擾的寧靜。

滿懷溫暖與祝福，
Caroline

Peace and always love